The Alleyway

Deep in the recesses of a starless night

Down the dark alleyway hidden by sight,

I wonder, Lord,

Why do you lead me this way?

The terrors of time torment me

And the fears of the future frighten me

They shake their heads and say,

“ You are tailored from yesteryear’s failures

You are lost and look what it’s cost:

Twenty-nine without a sign

A call but many falls

‘Things get better’ is the lie

Better believe it or you will die

Here in this fateful alleyway

Didn’t God say, ‘This was the way?’”

What do I say to future’s fear of choice?

Or reply to the terrible tick of time’s voice?

When all they say seems true to me

And experience ever betrays me

I stutter to speak but yet they demand

“What is the way?” from my feeble hand

A weak sorrow from a heavy sigh

Pierces all heaven—

The Lord has heard my cry

His gentle hand guides my tears

And his whisper quiets my fears

“The alleyway will brighten in my time

It is not for you to know for it is mine.

If out of the frying pan into the fire

Then what I command you must desire!

The terrors of time will always tick

But to my heart you must always stick

Close by my wounded side

Then a friend you will be

In whom I confide."

In early January 2006 when I was 29 yrs old, days before I would journey to India for the third time, I felt unprepared and anxious of the future.  I felt very much like a man trapped in an alleyway...thus the poem was born.  May Lord grant us all his peace as we walk through those alleyways...